RealWealthTalk

Question:  What would you say to a discouraged friend that can’t find a job?

Well, permit me to tell you what I said to my friend experiencing job hunting frustration, rejection, and discouragement!

My comments were offered in the form of a letter (“Herb’s Letter”).

I chose the letter format over voiced comments, because it can be re-read several times, and be more thorough in content delivery.

 Perhaps you have a friend that you would like to help…. the way I wanted to help Herb.  If so, why not copy Herb’s Letter, and send it to that friend of yours.  He/She would appreciate your concern, thoughtfulness,  and assistance.

Here is what I wrote:

Dear Herb,

Where do I begin? I have been thinking of you, and how tough it is to go through the process of finding a challenging career slot, rather than just any old job to earn a living.

It is a discouraging, scary, and in some respects, degrading experience. It is a process that just grinds you down.  Sometimes all the hype in the world, and all the positive platitudes just aren’t enough to overcome the day-to-day negativity and metamorphic land mine type disappointments that just blow you away.  So how does one cope?  There is a way to become genuinely excited about your prospect for finding that elusive career objective.  That is what this letter is all about.  It’s a tall order, but read on, and see if you don’t agree with my optimistic view.

I also hope to offer some encouragement and more importantly, present a totally new perspective that will help you get through this somewhat traumatic experience. Let’s get semi-highfalutin, and call it a major paradigm shift!

The heart of the problem is that you want to hold out for the career opportunity of your dream.  But necessity may dictate that you will have to settle for something less.  Of course you know this; we even discussed it.  And if push come to shove, that is exactly what you will do.  No surprises here; it’s called survival!  So this is not my focus or point.  If you do find the perfect job in the near future, what I am about to write will have little value.  However, if you do have to settle for less (call it sub-optimizing) then I think the following concepts will have considerable value!

Simply stated: when and if the time comes that you must accept a job that does not adequately utilize your abilities, and fulfill your life’s ambitions, understand that this is only a temporary setback…. that you will have the rest of your life to re-focus career objectives and then to initiate action that will move you in that direction.  After all, think of it; you want to be an international corporate trainer, and the world is a big place in which to explore employment opportunities.  Most people, because of an unwillingness to relocate, must settle for employment opportunities in the local job market. Nor would they likely be willing to commit the rest of their employment career constantly attempting to move in that direction.  THAT is the major paradigm shift that I am talking about!  So simple, and yet (I believe) so profound!  The emphasis changes from that of finding the right career opportunity to that of taking a lesser position, and then continuing the career search… week after week, month after month… and if need be, year after year.  You simply will not be denied!  In the mean time, Susan (Herb’s daughter) gets to eat three meals a day, and you might even be able to build that deck you have been wanting.  But you don’t become complacent or loose focus… you keep marketing yourself.  In some instances, you will develop an on-going relationship with corporate leaders that may not need your services now, but change their minds sometime in the future. You will be net-working, and there are all kinds of serendipitous possibilities.

So much for the paradigm shift.  Now let me present some career building blocks that will give you the tools you need to get on with this program.  From this point on, I cannot take any credit for the powerful, life-changing concepts that you are about to read!  The ideas come from national motivational speakers and world famous philosophers; men who have devoted their lives to helping others find fulfillment in life, and become what they are capable of.

First, let’s identify some major components that produce negative emotions and then evaluate some thought vitamin anedotes:

Discouragement:

While others may side-track your ambitions not a few times, remember that discouragement most frequently comes from within.  Napoleon Hill

So if you, yourself, are the primary source of discouragement, you have the power to over-come that demon.

Doubts and Fears:

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.  Shakespeare

Recognizing this, you are then able to over-come doubt and fear by continuing your marketing effort, even if that effort must be on a part time basis.  Somewhere along the way the doubt and fear will dissipate.  It has been said:  Do what you fear the most, and the fear will go away.

Defeat and Failure:

Time is a Master Worker that heals the wound of temporary defeat, and equalizes the inequalities and rights the wrongs of the world.  There is nothing impossible with time.  Napoleon Hill

OR, HOW ABOUT THIS?

If you have tried and met with defeat; if you have planned and watched your plans as they were crushed before your eyes, just remember that the greatest men in all history were the products of courage, and courage, you know, is born in the cradle of adversity.  Napoleon Hill

OR THIS?

There is no defeat except from within.  There is really no insurmountable barrier save you own inherent weakness of purpose.  Emerson

Okay, now we have slain some negative emotion demons/dragons.  What’s next?  Well, next we master some “Laws Of Success”, that will inevitably lead us to our illusive goal with positive purpose and a determined game plan.  Much of what follows comes from Napoleon Hill’s book titled “Laws Of Success”. This book is quite dated, and out of print.  But you will find much of this material in another book authored by him titled “Think and Grow Rich“.  Why not add this book to your library?

Here are a few of the “laws” presented by Napoleon Hill in paraphrased form:

A Definite Chief Aim:

Simply stated, how can you get where you want to go if you don’t know where you want to go, or what you want to achieve?

“Any definite cheif aim that is deliberately fixed in the mind and held there, with the determination to realize it, finally saturates the entire subconscious mind until it automatically influences the physical action of the body toward the attainment of that purpose…. Your Definite Chief Aim in life should be selected with deliberate care, and after it has been selected should be written out and placed where you will see it at least once a day, the psychological effect of which is to impress this purpose upon your subconscious mind so strongly that it accepts that purpose as a pattern or blueprint that will eventually dominate your activities in life and lead you, step by step, toward the attainment of the object back of that purpose”.

The converse of this concept is to….  “spread your thoughts over so many subjects and in so many different directions that they lead not to power, but to indecision and weakness… Know what you want, when you want it, why you want it, and HOW you intend to get it”.  Napoleon Hill

The man who actually knows just what he wants in life has already gone a long way toward attaining it.  Napoleon Hill

Just think how fortunate you are that you know just what it is that you want for a career.  Most men live their entire lives just making a living… not pursuing a career path with passion.  Earl Nightingale would tell you: “When you decide what it is in life that you want, I can tell you how to get it!  And… once you decide what it is in life that you want, you are 90% there!  You only need go another 10%”.  Again, how fortunate you are… you only have to go another 10%!

Enthusiasm:

“ENTHUSIASM is a state of mind that inspires and arouses one to put ACTION into the task at hand.  It does more than this – it is contagious, and vitally affects not only the enthusiast, but all with whom he comes in contact… Enthusiasm bears the same relationship to a human being that steam does to the locomotive – it is the vital moving force that impels action. Enthusiasm is the most important factor entering into salesmanship.  It is, by far, the most vital factor that enters into public speaking”. Napoleon Hill

ENTHUSIASM is the mainspring of the soul.  Keep it wound up and you will never be without power to get what you actually need.  Napoleon Hill

Desire:

Most major achievements in life require the ingredient of DESIRE.  If you don’t strongly desire a change in your circumstance, then where does the motivation and drive to do so come from?  It is here that I want to throw in the word “Persistence”.  Desire, combined with Persistence, can be compared to the dripping of water on a rock.  Over a period of time, even the hardest rock can be worn away.  Obviously, the rock represents an obstacle in your path, Desire is the water, and dripping represents Persistence.  Darel Burleson

A passionate DESIRE and an unwearied will can perform impossibilities, or what may seem to be such to the cold, timid and feeble.  Sir John Simpson

NOTE:

If Earl Nightingale were commenting on the above two concepts (goals and desire), he would put it more in terms like this:  Your goal should become a dominate force in your life.  It should be the first thing that you think of when you get up in the morning, and the last thing that you think of when you go to bed at night.  He would have you spending 20 minutes each day making a list of what you could be doing that would lead you more quickly and efficiently to your goal, and then tell you that time spent doing so is like digging in a vein of pure gold.

Self-confidence:

You must believe in yourself!  If you don’t, others will sense this, and you will be less effective.  Also, you will then tend to lack the “ca-ca-courage” to do what you must do to achieve your goals.  Affirmations will help give you this courage, drive you to take ACTION, and also help give you self-confidence.  Affirmation example:  I accept that I am becoming an international trainer, and everything I do contributes to that perfect result.  Try writing this affirmation everyday for 21 days.  It will invoke powerful sub-conscious mind results, and help move you in that direction.

A man who is self-reliant, positive, optimistic, and undertakes his work with the assurance of success magnetizes his condition.  He draws to himself the creative powers of the universe.  Napoleon Hill

Self-control/Thought Control (and Affirmations):

Self-control pertains to having the discipline, determination, and willpower to DO what is required to change your life style; in other words, to take ACTION. i.e.,to conquer procrastination.  Again, Earl Nightingale would make this point:  Your mind is the only thing in life that you have absolute control over.  In other words, you control your thoughts!  And it is your thoughts that will determine your future!  It has been said that “thoughts are things, and their airy wings speed over the track to bring back what ever went out from your mind”!

Herb, this is powerful stuff!!!  You can control your thoughts, or let your thoughts control you (for example, thoughts of fear and discouragement).  Affirmations are a way (or a tool) for controlling your thoughts!  And there is absolutely nothing stopping you from tapping into this power except a lack of a Definite Chief Aim, Desire, Self-control, Persistence, and Action.

One last thought on the power of thought:  Again, borrowing from Earl Nightingale, “You are now, and you will become what you think about”.  He calls this “The Strangest Secret”.  Why strange?  Why a secret?  Because it really isn’t a secret!  Philosophers throughout time have espoused this concept.  Yet, so few know it, understand it, or use it. Ergo… The Strangest Secret!

The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.  William James

A man is what he thinks about all day long.  Ralph Waldo Emerson

The only thing in the world that you have absolute control over is your thoughts!!!  Nightingale

Considerable emphasis was placed on the power of “affirmations” above.  Now let me outline an example of how you could go about invoking this concept in your daily life in a manner that could produce life-changing results.

• Affirmations can deeply implant your goal in your mind to the extent that  your goal really IS the first thing that you think of when you get up in the morning, and the last thing that you think of when you go to bed at night.  And, your thoughts can change your life!

• Affirmations can increase your DESIRE to take the ACTION (and make the sacrifices) required to adjust priorities in your life so that you are moving toward your goal on a daily basis.
• Affirmations, and subsequent actions (or change in behavior) that they produce, can give you self-confidence, and help you over-come the fear of failure  of not succeeding in your next venture.

I believe that if you really use this tool, it will truly change your life.  Surly it is worth a try.  Let this effort be founded on a deep commitment (rather than a hit and miss, haphazard approach).  What else could you do in the next couple of months that would offer more potential!?

Remember, affirmations should be hand written or typed (15 repetitions) once or twice a day for 21 days.  If you miss one day, you have to start over!  Why?

Missing one day confirms that the affirmation itself, and the goal the affirmation represents, is not important enough for you to take the time to state it every day.  The very fact that you missed a day says that you must start over, because other interests are distracting you from your goal.  They are competing for your time, interfering with what should be a focused thought process, and preventing you from reaching your goal.

To illustrate this point, consider this:  If someone were to pay you $1,000 at the end of 21 days, providing that you didn’t miss a single day of writing your affirmation, do you really think that you would miss a single day?  NO! Because every day you would be thinking of that $1,000, and not missing a single day would be too important to you!  That is how important the affirmation process should become as part of your daily routine.

So here are the expected results for successfully completing the Affirmation Program.

• It will control, direct and dominate your thoughts. And your   thoughts determine your future!
• It will give you resolve, willpower, and drive you to take action.
• That action taken will produce results!

Well Herb, we have come to the end of this material… more because of time restraints, not for lack of material!  I think you will readily agree that all of the above does not represent some shallow, short lived pep’m up platitudes, but rather deep and profound attitude adjustments and life changing concepts that, when accepted and practiced, can buoy you over the waves of adversity that will inevitably come your way from time to time.  More importantly, they can serve as guides to steer you past the obstacles that you now face.  And while doing so, give you peace of mind, and confidence that may have alluded you up to this point.  It will give you confidence, conviction, and assurance that you will obtain your goal of becoming an international trainer.  The only uncertainty is when.  But rest assured,  it will happen!

Darel

P.S.:  NOTE TO YOU, THE READER

If you know someone who is struggling with finding a job… and who doesn’t in today’s economy?  …, why not send “Herb’s Letter” to that person?  That person will appreciate your concern and thoughtfulness… and that should give you a warm glow… all in the spirit of caring, and being a mentor, of course!!

Herb’s Letter